Beat an Old Crocodile-Woman and Bet on the LHC

Have you heard about that urban myth about senior citizens abusing crocodile steroids that mutated them into crocodile-people and that now roam the suburbs at night eating small children, dogs, cats and other pets? (You should because I mentioned it, like, yesterday, pay more attention fool!) Well... funny story... but it turns out that it's not a myth. 

It all happened last night when I tried unsuccessfully to get into some giant robot action that was on the news (There is no super-crime locator for this area, go figure) but that didn't work out because while I was driving the Comp-Kart (Actually just a regular go-kart) I "accidentally"

used an old lady that was hunched over something on the road as a ramp and did a Really Awesome Jump. But I got a bit suspicious because I remembered that old adage: Old ladies are no good as ramps. (Trust me, that's a fact) so here's what happened next: I politely asked her what was wrong with her (Quote: "Hey, oldie! What's up with your crazy rampability!?") and she turned around and that's when I saw that she wasn't just a regular old crone, she was a frigging old MUSCULAR CROCODILE-LADY THAT WAS EATING A MOTHER-FUNKING POODLE! And boy, that is not a pretty sight, it's basically this:

mixed with this:

(It will probably haunt my nightmares for the next few weeks)
So I did the only right thing to do in a situation like this and beat her senseless, so I'm sorry if that was your grandmother but it had to be done.

In other news: The Large Hadron Collider has been turned on without the world getting destroyed so the next round of betting has begun, I put some money down on that the first accident at the LHC is going to create a monster, the odds are a whopping 50:1 (Which is actually some good odds given how frequently stuff like that happens.) I'm feeling lucky and I could sure use that cash!